Married to a Critic
by Kid Eternity
Summary: Jay and Alice's life several years after settling down. One-shot!


_Good morning New York, Casey Kasem here having just gone back to doing what I love best and that is impersonating Shaggy Rogers, that's right folks_!_ Our favorite stoner is a real life perso-_!

A rather fat hand struck the radio clock's off switch, followed by a dainty one walking playfully across up the arm and intertwining with the other's fingers, "Hmmm, oh Jay last night was unbelievable...!" a woman's voice with a light southern drawl could be heard from under the sheets.

"I know right, who knew there are actually more than one 7 letter words for love, and might I say they look absolutely fetching on your back my darling!" the man said in a satisfied tone.

The woman arched her head up with her right hand on the pillow, giving him a coy smile while rubbing his head tenderly with her left.

"It was your idea to spice up our night together, but don't you think using a permanent marker was a bit much?"

"Please my dear, like _our_ love I wanted them to be etched on our bodies forever, and don't worry I lied, you can wash it off with water,"

She giggled a bit at the remark, "Well, I guess it's time to get up," the woman proceeded to stand from the bed only to be stopped midway,

"Oh it can wait, it's a Sunday after all, and I haven't been this close to a woman since Madonna mistook me for an ashtray; I swear I still have the scar somewhere,"

"Hm, maybe I should go lookin' for it later tonight," she said suggestively while slowly easing herself back on the bed for a warm and sensual kiss to continue their moment together, only for it to be pulled to a sudden halt by a knock at the door, "Mama, Uncle Jay, I made breakfast for ya'll," a young girl called from outside,

"Ooh! Now we really need to get up!" Jay said after quickly breaking from the kiss, with his partner reacting with mild amusement.

_An hour later_...

Jay Sherman and his wife Alice Sherman were sitting comfortably at the table, having just finished eating a hearty breakfast as their daughter Penny was washing the dishes, "Now Penny, you best be eatin' good cuz' you might just end up with half a tank later young lady!"

"I know mama, by the way I promised Marty I'd go with him to the movie theater to catch the premiere of Rise of the Security Guards!" she said while drying a plate,

"That movie is just a bunch of malarkey, another way for those corporate big shots to lure in kids with their so-called "CGI" gimmick to do their bidding for their stake in world domination; it stinks!" Jay said mockingly before taking a huge sip from his cup of coffee.

"Now Uncle Jay, we both know that only applies to the internet right?"

"Yeah, but you can never be too sure sweetheart, and what did I say about calling me uncle? Why I _am_ married to your mother, who by the way is the most charming woman I have ever been with; not counting Hilary Clinton during the time I attended her speech on Women's Rights (whew!) good Lord can that woman give a speech, (_growl_)!"

"Just be careful honey, and if anyone approaches you with a sign that says "The Mayans Were Right!" punch 'em in the face and kick 'em in the shins!" Alice said, looking up from her paper and waving to her daughter who was already heading for the door,

"I will, and see ya later mama, unc-uh-dad!" she said before closing the door,

"(_Sigh_) Well that was refreshing to hear, a year of wedded bliss and our daughter calling me dad still gets me!"

"Well I think it's cute, the way you dote on her from time to time, almost as if she really _is _yours!" Alice said while putting down the paper,

"Why? Wasn't Cyrus ever like that for Penny?"

"Not really, he was more like one 'o those career oriented types who would choose their jobs over their families and leave them in a cold and dark place of despair and loneliness...yup! That kind of father indeed," she said nonchalantly before finishing her coffee," "So what do we have planned today?" Alice said while walking to the sink to wash her cup,

"I was thinking that maybe we could start out the day with a nice walk in Central Park and just admire the world for what it is...an economically challenged crapsack facing unimportant issues such as global warming and overpopulation. Wow, Louie Armstrong was right all along, how about that!"

"Hm, sounds nice, but...I'd much rather just rent a DVD and microwave some popcorn, and maybe later we can play footsies," Alice trailed off voluptuously,

"Ooh, mi gusta me Sunday even more!" Jay said devilishly as he got up from his seat,

_At the movie theater_

Penny Tompkins Sherman was waiting patiently for her step-brother Martin Sherman to arrive. She looked at her watch and saw that it was already 9:43 a.m., which meant that there was still plenty to make it before the movie started.

She tucked one of her bangs behind her ear as her long, strawberry blonde hair swayed with the breeze; a chill came upon her as she stood outside of the theater patiently, "_Marty should be here any minute now, I can't wait to see this movie! Let's just hope Dreamworks hasn't failed me now_!" she thought earnestly to herself.

At 14, Penny was already slightly taller than her step-father, while still a few inches behind Marty.

Lost in her thoughts, she almost didn't notice someone tapping her on the shoulder. A bit startled, she turned around only to see that it was Marty, who was huffing and appeared a bit ragged; indicating that he had been running.

At 23, Martin was almost the spitting image of his father, of course with a few (very obvious) differences; short curly black hair, a round face and an even rounder belly, and at 5'9 he had an ample girth to boot.

"Been waiting long Penny?" Marty said, a bit exhausted

"Not really Marty, and thanks for coming!" she said while grabbing his arm,

"No problem, anything to get out of the house and away from mom and her latest boyfriend," Marty said more coherently, having regained a bit of his composure.

**This is just a one-shot from me and a prototype at best, tell me what you think because I was inspired to write about these two today because they are so cute together! R&R**


End file.
